


Breathing Dead

by I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Genre: Dying of a Broken Heart, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 01:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12901104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning/pseuds/I_Gave_You_Fair_Warning
Summary: Padmé got to die of a broken heart. Obi-Wan Kenobi's heart broke just as terribly, he just wasn't allowed to leave.





	Breathing Dead

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/piades/gifts).



 

Mustafar was where Padmé Amidala's heart broke.

She managed to survive long enough to reach Polis Massa to give birth to her children, so she wouldn't drag them down into death with her.

She managed to name them and give them Obi-Wan Kenobi, who she knew would love them more than life. Would shield them from the Emperor's insane search to murder all Force-sensitive children.

She felt sorry to leave him there to carry on alone, but she knew he would endure, his strength would hold.

It was the only comfort in death she had.

 

* * *

 

Mustafar was where Obi-Wan Kenobi's heart broke.

He carried Padmé to Polis Massa, held her hand and forced himself to smile for her, to comfort her in those final, wretched moments.

And then he watched his brother's wife die, murdered by the man he had left to burn on Mustafar's shores.

Obi-Wan handed Luke to Bail as he felt a strange pain in his chest.

It brought him to his knees as his heart stopped.

Polis Massa was where Obi-Wan Kenobi died.

He resisted. Though his soul longed to be free, to join his slaughtered brothers and sisters, find _sleep,_ find _peace_...

He couldn't _leave._ If he _left,_ Anakin's children would be alone. No father, no mother, nowhere to go, and a madman who would murder or destroy them should he ever realize they existed.

On pure willpower alone, Obi-Wan drew in a breath.

It hurt.

He reached into his body with the Force, sending blood through his veins, forcing his brain to function.

He stood, gathered Luke back into his arms, and walked to face the future.

 

* * *

 

He didn't dare sleep. If he  _slept,_ he might forget to keep his corpse moving.

If he slept, the severing of his soul from his body might happen.

Instead, he sat up all night, crying out to Qui-Gon and carving model ships for the toddler Luke was swift becoming.

And remembering.

Always, always remembering. The exhaustion left his mind weakened, gave him memories so vivid he wasn't entirely sure they weren't happening. There were a few lightsaber marks in the walls of his house to prove it.

Owen was right to keep him away from Luke.

So Obi-Wan tried to find comfort in the man he  _couldn't_ kill, whose long-missed voice soothed his tears, and guided him to the best japor driftwood so he could keep carving Luke ships.

The child would have a fleet before Obi-Wan Kenobi found rest.

 

* * *

 

There was a pallor to Old Ben Kenobi's skin that two decades in the desert had been unable to shake. A purple edge to his lips, deep bruises beneath his eyes, as if he never slept.

Some of the village children believed him to drink blood, and perhaps sprout wings in the night to fly to catch his prey.

The day one caught his wrist and felt the cold of his skin and realized there was no pulse...

That didn't help.

Old Ben Kenobi was unnatural, a wizard, a terror.

Even the Tuskens refused to go near him.

Obi-Wan sighed and allowed the rumors, since it kept people away from his hut.

He wasn't sure his sanity could handle it, if he accidentally killed an innocent when the bouts of memory took hold.

And though Qui-Gon doubted it when he assured him of this, it  _was truth_ :

Here, at the end of everything, the only companionship Obi-Wan Kenobi needed was Qui-Gon Jinn.

 

* * *

 

Running required so much more effort than merely existing in a tiny hut where Obi-Wan could simply not move for long periods of time, focusing instead on keeping the dead flesh from rotting.

It was more difficult to  _run_ and keep oxygen flowing through his cold blood too.

He said goodbye to Luke, but the boy didn't seem to really understand.

Perhaps that was for the best. If Luke truly understood what Obi-Wan had meant, he might have insisted on coming.

And if there was one thing Obi-Wan could not stand the thought of, it was his precious Luke dying for an already dead man.

Obi-Wan fought Vader because it seemed like the thing to do, and because it would distract Vader from Luke's bright presence in the Force.

But when the moment came, Obi-Wan knew the Force and Qui-Gon had been right.

It was time to go.

Obi-Wan smiled at the man who had killed him nineteen years earlier, smiled to the ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn, standing between him and that man, hands on Obi-Wan's face.

Obi-Wan let the blood lie still. Stopped forcing oxygen through his still lungs. Just let go.

No longer bent to his will, his corpse crumbled, becoming nothing but fine ash long before Vader's saber swept through the robes.

Qui-Gon clutched his quivering soul close, steadying him enough so he could call,  _“Run, Luke, run!”_

And then for a good long while, he could do nothing but rest in his master's arms.

Vader toed the robes with his boot, confused by the fact that instead of a bleeding body, the corpse seemed to have disintegrated, as if it had died decades ago and been left in an arid wilderness instead of a fresh kill.

He decided it didn't matter, since the Force mourned with the truth that Vader had killed Obi-Wan Kenobi.

With that being the case, it really didn't matter exactly  _when._

 

 


End file.
